


Disillusion

by iinamorata



Category: Good Morning Call (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 16:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18347054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iinamorata/pseuds/iinamorata
Summary: it doesn't take much, in the end, to make nao finally realise that it didn't matter who it was (hisashi), and who it wasn't (shu), and that the only thing that really mattered was who liked, and could like, all of her.





	Disillusion

**Author's Note:**

> yes i was too lazy to capitalise

"you're so immature."

hisashi delivers those words to nao, like a final blow, attaching all the disappointment that was already evident in his expression onto the tone of his voice too. then he walks away, and nao just watches after his retreating back, silent. because, he was right, wasn't he?

if he hadn't walked away, she probably would've screamed, and yelled, and gotten angry. all she can do now is admit that  _yeah, she was immature._ part of her wants to blame him for it, that she was the way she was because of him, that she'd gotten jealous seeing him alone with another girl, that she'd become a petty person, arguing with him about small things, all because of him. but maybe even that, wanting to push the blame onto hisashi, maybe that was immature of her too.

but, what was she supposed to do about that? it isn't as if she doesn't hear people when they say she needs to grow up, she's been trying. she'd like to think it's been working too, but just how much of herself did everybody want her to change before they would acknowledge that she's "grown"? sometimes she doesn't think they would ever be satisfied, until she becomes an entirely different person. 

at least, that's what she got from hisashi. the hisashi that said he loved her just a couple months ago, seemed like he was getting further and further away, and instead, now all she was seeing was a hisashi that was getting increasingly more tired. tired of nao, tired of everything. she has no idea what she needs to do about that. she can try as hard as she can to change herself, but it wasn't as if she could just completely erase who she was.

it doesn't seem worth it anymore, trying so hard for something that won't work, for a boy who just seems to drift away from her.

and if that's the case then, _what now?_

"nao?"

for some reason or another, nao finds herself standing in front of shu, lost and maybe a little vulnerable.

(when wasn't she? how many times had shu seen her like this already?).

"natsume," she says, and sighs, defeated, "can i ask you something?"

"yeah," he smiles, "of course."

nao has to rack her brain just to find the proper words to describe exactly what she wanted to express. hisashi was tired, and maybe now she was a little tired too. it's a little funny, the difference between how they are now to how they were before. before? how long ago was that? how long has it been since hisashi hasn't been tired? how long has it been since nao has been truly and freely happy?

"am i immature?"

 _ah, damn._ she had meant to ask something else entirely, but ultimately that's what slipped through her lips. she wonders what kind of answer she'll hear, and what kind of answer she wants to hear.

shu is silent for a while, before he eventually opens his mouth to say, "yes."

to nao's surprise, it doesn't really hurt. it doesn't have the same kind of weight as it had when hisashi had said it. maybe now that she knows for sure, she can...

she can, what? move on? forget? try her best _not_ to be immature? in the end there was no real difference, she still felt as lost as she was a moment ago. 

" _but,_ " shu continues, "that doesn't make me like you any less. when i said i liked you, nao, i meant that i liked **all** of you. i like the you that's gentle and caring, the you that's loud and clumsy, and i like the you that's immature, too."

oh. now this was different.

is this what she was looking for? just someone who would like her, unconditionally, for who she was, the entirety of who she was? thinking about it now, the answer should've been clear. nao had liked hiashi for so long, and she'd liked all of him, the parts that made her angry and sad, she'd liked those parts of him too. the ugly parts of nao however, hisashi couldn't bring himself to like, let alone love, all he did was revel in the moments she showed the better parts of herself. 

she's a little disappointed now too. if it was so easy for shu, to like her like this, like the way she had wanted to be liked the whole time, why couldn't hisashi have done it? why couldn't it have been hisashi?

she makes her mind up then, after asking herself those questions, that it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter if it _wasn't_ hisashi, it doesn't matter if it _was_ shu. all she wanted was for someone to really, truly, like her, all of her. and if hisashi couldn't deliver, then fine. if shu could, then she wasn't about to waste the opportunity.

nao finds that little part of herself, that slightly devious, sly side of herself that she's hated for so long, brings it out for the first time in a while, and uses it to tug on shu's shirt collar until his face is mere centimetres away from hers, then leans up to kiss him.

it doesn't matter if this is unlike her, it doesn't matter that hiashi at this moment is still technically her boyfriend. none of it matters.

what does matter? the way shu looks at nao when she pulls away, the way he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close, the way he leans down to kiss her again, the way she feels safe in his arms knowing that he likes each and every side of her.

**Author's Note:**

> mayb i am posting too many gmc fics one after another ... but mayb i also dont care


End file.
